Drama

Hey Everybody,

Today I had Drama class where a lot of the time I act like I'm on crack! Seriously, I go INSANE. The rest of them seem fine about it. I'm naturally quiet to be honest, the second I step out that door I don't speak. I don't have the confidence to. I hate it but it's true. My drama class are so cool, seriously, they are also insane! One girl is an amazing punk rocker and is just so fun! Just plain fun! Another girl is so nice and she's not dumb or anything but we have to explain things to her twice, probably because she can't understand us because we're going a mile a minute! One of the lads generally acts like he is on something, he turned a chair upside down, got into it(it was a stool) and got stuck!!!!!! I love to act like I'm not me, that I'm somebody else. Guess I'm a bit (very) insecure, I mean this is the only place I'm not AFRAID to say " I'm insecure and quiet and I hate it but that's me." Thank you all, this blog has made me come to terms with a lot of stuff I don't like about my self. I make up stories in my head every 30 seconds and I'm asked to make something up and my mouth goes dry. There used to be this really quiet girl in my drama class and she left and now she's in my year at school and she is LOUD! Not in your face but just not invisible. I feel invisible. I often find myself thinking that if it wasn't for the roll call at school, no one would notice I'm gone. I sit down and silence. A different girl sits down and people are over hugging her and shouting across the room at her saying hello and she doesn't even hang out with these people. A lot of the time I wish I was someone else and I might be wrong but don't I deserve a least a hello? I help out everybody, I stayed behind and helped a girl clean up her kitchen after Home Economics, I emailed a girl the English essay the day before the exam. Am I not nice? Am I just invisible? Don't I deserve a simple hello? A smile? Acknowledgment?  Just let me know, I'd rather know why people ignore me. If you recognize yourself as one of the people in this post, I'm sorry I had to use you as an example but I'm sick of being invisible. Or do I want to remain invisible? Maybe the people don't know they're doing this, making me feel this bad. What do you think?

Bye,
Clíodhna
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